No mulligans

My family and I were playing our traditional game of mini golf the night before Ironman Lake Placid. At one of the holes I whacked my ball and it came rolling right back to the start mat. I glanced at Brian wondering if he would allow me a mulligan, a do-over. He laughed and proclaimed that there are no mulligans. I had a choice, I could declare that the rules were unfair, or I could play the ball where it lay.

I took approximately 101,000 steps running in the 5 weeks between being allowed to run again post stress reaction and lining up at IM Lake Placid. 101,000 steps undone by a single mis-placed step. Once I realized that it all came down to that single step, it seemed so unlikely that I felt for sure this must be a mistake and I would be awarded a do-over, a mulligan. Once again, there are no mulligans in mini golf, and there are no mulligans in life. I had another choice, do I wallow in the unfairness of it all? Or do I play the ball where it lay?

I do not have a career in mini golf

Mini golf champ - Dad

Let me back up a little. My build up to IM Lake Placid was not exactly ideal. I was only just allowed to begin running (after 6 wks no running for a hip stress reaction) on June 15, giving me 5 weeks to race day. I pool ran during the 6 wks and then after June 15 I mostly did only aerobic runs but had a week of some intensity. Despite all of that, I was feeling good going into race week, and feeling extremely grateful to be back on an Ironman starting line.  This was going to be the first Ironman my parents and sister (and her fiance) would see me race. Brian and several friends were also there, making this my biggest cheer section ever. Brian even drove the 11 hrs by himself having just gotten back from crewing a friend at the Badwater ultra marathon (she crushed it by the way, finishing 2nd female in 28:40). I love having family and friends at races and was excited to share the experience with them. I was extremely grateful for the Recchia family taking some of us into their home and being wonderful hosts. The day before the race, I was excitedly showing my parents part of the town and went down to the lake to show them the swim course. My dad is very observant and mentioned that the soft sand might be tricky to navigate coming out of the water tired and disoriented after the swim. I brushed off his concerns, I mean how many times have I run out of the water on all sorts of surfaces? I did joke that if anyone was going to fall and make a fool out of themselves, it would probably be me.

Race morning dawned and I was excited to get going. The gun went off and I didn't have an awesome start but not bad either. My attention lapsed for a second and the front group was gone, but I was happily swimming well on someone's feet in the chase pack. Coming around the dock finishing the first lap, I heard the horn signalling the age group start. I was a little surprised they didn't wait for us to be clear and mentally noted that I would have to work hard to stay with the girl who's feet I was on. I managed to stay with her 400m into the second lap until the chaos separated us. Swimming inside the buoys as we were allowed wasn't a huge help and at some point during the swim, my Garmin was knocked off the quick release. If anyone wants to go diving in mirror lake, you may find a Garmin 920XT somewhere near the cable. I glanced at my wrist finishing the swim and my heart sank to see no watch. I've gone off of feel before though so I didn't worry too much about having no data.

Here's where it got interesting. Running up the beach, I was reaching to get my swim skin half off. I must have planted my foot wrong in the sand, because my knee suddenly hyper extended and I fell. I had felt a small crunch and then some pain but thought oh I just tweaked something. A collective oh! came from the crowd. I stood up and seemed ok and the crowd started cheering. I jogged into T1 and while the knee didn't feel great, it wasn't awful (possibly due to a lot of adrenaline) and I figured it was going to spin itself out and be fine. I motioned to Brian I had lost my watch and he yelled to just race my race.

Signalling to Brian that I had lost my watch

Starting the bike I felt great. I wasn't sure of my position but had come out near some other women. I reminded myself to be conservative on the climb out of town, but also remembered what coach Tara said about using the bike as a strength. I had a lot of fun on the descent, tucking down even further to get every last bit of speed. The road by the river is fun for me because it's a good chance to get some momentum. I had passed someone on the descent and noticed I was gradually catching someone further ahead. At the turn around I saw that I was in 5th! The girl ahead of me was Amber and Beth was just behind. The three of us climbed back to town and I was surprised to find the climb not nearly as bad as I had remembered. I was so excited to be riding near Beth and Amber because they are strong athletes and I have looked up to them and many of the other women (I think I totally fan girled on Heather Jackson handing out medals at the kids race). Plus they're both super nice and Amber and I exchanged several thumbs ups at turn arounds. Coming into town it was Beth, then Amber, then me about 10-20 sec back. I was whipping around Mirror Lake and saw a blur of commotion ahead of me. Someone yelled someones down and just in time I was able to hit the brakes and avoid the cyclist and crowd accruing. I went by and saw that it was Amber and my heart sank for her. There seemed to be many people helping her so I continued on. As I came by Brian I yelled that Amber went down in hopes that he might be able to tell someone that could notify her family. Turns out her sister was standing there and took off running. I continued onto the second loop. I found out later that she was mostly ok but still felt sad for the unfortunate circumstance since she is a fierce competitor.

The Zoot Sports speed suit rocks

I still felt strong on the second loop. In 2014 when I raced Lake Placid I remembered really hurting on the second loop. I was feeling well fueled by my Infinit custom mix and the little bit of wind played to my strengths riding in windy Chesapeake. I caught up to Beth at the turn around. For a little while I tried to just pace off of her. I had no data and thought I should hold back. Starting the climb back to town I realized I had a fair amount in the tank and decided to push it a bit more and made the pass. Riding into town, it hit me that I was in 4th and feeling really strong. I wasn't beat up like in 2014, I was feeling strong and ready to run.

I got off my bike, passed it to a volunteer, took a few steps and realized something was very wrong. I was in total denial and still attempted to run through T2. It was more of a slow limp with the tears already flowing. A photographer managed to capture what I'm sure is a lovely image of desperation. Limping into the change tent, one of the ART specialists immediately came over and was trying to work on my knee. I put shoes on hoping they would help. She worked on it, I attempted to walk/run, repeat times about 3. I couldn't really bear weight and it just seemed to be getting worse. They half carried me to the med tent and I still had not conceded that I wasn't racing. I was still making sure my visor and race belt were on. They looked at it and said they would try ice to see if it helped. After icing it for ~15 min I attempted to walk again (I mean serious denial at this point) and again couldn't bear weight. I had been prepared to walk the whole marathon but I couldn't take a step without buckling in pain (very dramatic I know). I finally conceded that I wasn't going anywhere and asked them if they could find Brian. He came in shortly later and gave me a much needed long hug. He also got my coach Tara on the phone. Tara has been coaching me since early 2012 and knows me better than many. Her words were comforting because she validated how I was feeling and let me know it was ok to feel that way. She told me it was ok to be pissed off because it was an unfair and cruel situation after the last year of battling back from surgery and then a stress reaction. She assured me that we would take it one day at a time. We also talked about how I could be really proud of how I had raced up to T2 and how it showed my fitness and improvement.

I wasn't sure what to do since I really couldn't walk and the medical tent had no crutches. One of the amazing volunteers drove to a nearby school to get me a pair of crutches, only asking that I pass them on to someone else that needed them. Now that I'm home with my crutches from last year I will be giving them to my PT who said he will donate them to someone who needs them. The med tent doctor, who was also awesome, recommended I get an x-ray when I got home and released me.

One positive thing that came from the situation was meeting a female age group athlete laid up next to me. Bees had gotten into her bike shoe and stung the heck out of her foot and she had to pull out of the race. We commiserated together about our unfortunate days. She then asked how to handle a DNF. I replied that this was my first DNF as well but I would tell her how I planned to handle it (borrowing from Tara). I told her to be angry, she had worked hard for that day and being upset just meant that she really cared (which is a good thing). I told her to be angry and upset, but not for too long. I said tomorrow start thinking about what you can do to get back and work towards the next one. Think about what went right on the day, think about where you can improve, just keep working towards the next goal. I hope I was at least a small comfort to her and that our commiserating could be a positive note in a tough situation.

I couldn't bear just sitting in the house dwelling on my knee, so I spent most of the rest of the day/night hobbling around town on my crutches spectating and cheering. I was happy to finally meet Jennie Hansen in person as we chatted quite a bit after both having hip surgery last year. I kept joking that I should have just crutched the marathon. In retrospect that would have been a horrible idea. I was happy to see a few friends complete their first IM. The pro women were extremely impressive and I loved watching them come in, huge congrats to Heather Jackson and all of the rest.

I followed Brian home the next day, an 11 hour drive. We had to drive separately because he had been crewing in California when I drove to Lake Placid. He wanted us to be close together on the drive home in case I had issues with my knee. My friend Michelle had knee surgery in 2012 and liked her doctor (Dr. Kevin Bonner at Jordan Young Institute). I called the office and was happy that they were able to squeeze me in the next afternoon. I was very impressed with him and his PA. They took X-rays and did an exam. Based on the X-ray and where/how my pain felt, he said it was likely a compression fracture on the anterior tibia from the femur and tibia coming together during hyper extension. An MRI later in the week confirmed his diagnosis. The MRI was on a Friday afternoon, and he actually called me Sunday morning (what a great doctor!) to let me know the findings. My coach and I had discussed that a straight forward fracture might actually be the best diagnosis. Surgery is not necessary and the fracture will likely heal with 6 weeks non-weight bearing. I had been worried about potential meniscus damage but it appears to be a fairly straight forward fracture. I will be meeting with him on Thursday to discuss a timeline for recovery but he did mention that after 4 weeks I should be able to get on the bike a bit. I am a little concerned about not being able to follow up with him after 6 weeks since he has been so great, but faculty at Holderness School have already mentioned a good doctor up there.

This brings me back to mulligans. I still feel as though breaking my knee running in the sand is so unlikely that it must all be a bad dream. However, friends do know that I am a giant clutz and Murphy's law probably applies. To be totally honest, I have had a much harder time accepting this injury than my surgery last year or stress reaction earlier this year. I try to remain positive, but I am also human. Last year I knew I would have this season and after racing hard for several years, a year off didn't seem like the worst thing. Earlier this year when I had to back out of IM Texas, I knew I would still have IM Lake Placid. We are moving to NH in a few weeks and I will be starting a new job which always creates a fair amount of uncertainty. I would like to still have a comeback race this season but am also trying to take one day at a time. I do know that ever since IM Florida 2014 I have felt that I am really getting the hang of racing in the pro field and am able to race more to my potential. That kind of momentum is something I want to keep going. Every time I get knocked down, I want to pick myself up again and keep fighting. This case is no exception, I plan to come back swinging as soon as I'm able.  I don't get a mulligan on IM Lake Placid, but hopefully this will just be a little speed bump on the way to something even better.

French Creek Tri

I had been meaning to get up to this race for the past couple years but it hadn't worked with my schedule. This year I had been planning on doing the race right after IMTX but then found out I wouldn't be able to run for 6 weeks. Race director and friend John let me switch into the aquavelo and generously found somewhere I could stay for the weekend.

Race director extraodinaire John Kenny

Some of the volunteers and race staff, fabulous people!

I arrived Friday evening and was excited to see how pretty the park was where the race would be held. Saturday morning I headed down to the start area and began helping with setup. I was a little limited on lifting heavy stuff so instead worked on marking the kids course. Once the kids started arriving I was on body marking. It was so much fun getting to chat with the kids and hear how excited they were to race, even in the rain. Shortly before the kids races were set to go off I changed into my Zoot Prophet (the water was in the 60s! chilly for me!), grabbed a buoy and headed into the water. There were several of us out in the water just watching the kids and offering the buoy for them to grab a hold if they needed a little break. I was chilly in my wetsuit, but these kids were troopers! Very few had wetsuits and they plunged into the water no problem. One tiny little thing hit the water and her face just went nope! But she kept trucking along in her adorable little mermaid suit. It was a chilly rainy day, but I didn't hear any complaints from the kids. They were all big smiles.

After the kids race was all wrapped up I headed out to check out the bike course with one of the other volunteers. He raced the sprint the next day and finished in an impressive 2nd! I'm glad I was able to get out on the course because there was some good climbing. That evening, I met my cabin mate and pro triathlete Emily. She had met my husband Brian before so it was nice to finally meet in person and chat about her injuries, recovery,  and impressive start to her pro career. It was nice having someone else to hang out with for the weekend! We were racked together the next morning and had a fairly amusing morning getting our stuff together.

Some super attractive pictures of me getting my stuff together in transition

We were laughing so hard because the photographer picked that moment to take a pic while Emily was trying to fix her suit under her wetsuit

        

Contemplating the cold water, glad I had my prophet!

Since I was in the aquavelo I started with men in their 30s. It made for a good fast start and I was able to practice getting in with a good group. My feet went numb fairly quickly but the colder water meant no overheating. The swim was two loops for the olympic and as I glanced at my watch exiting the water I was pretty happy with my effort.

 

 

With my very recent stress reaction diagnosis I was on strict no running. This meant I had to talk from the swim exit to my bike in transition. It was pretty funny having swam hard and then casually strolling into transition. It was also one of the reasons I was putting zero pressure on myself and just wanting a fun day with no risks. Since I knew I would already have a long transition I figured why not be warm and throw on a vest and arm warmers? I get cold easily so was happy to start the bike pretty toasty warm.

The bike for this race is very challenging with a few good climbs and you do the loop twice. I had been worried about how my hip would hold up climbing hard and was happy to find that it was ok. I was able to put in a good effort and enjoyed getting some good hills in after training mostly on flat farm roads. It was a little anticlimactic riding into transition and stopping there rather than continuing on to the run. It was still really fun to be in the race environment again though. It was great to see Emily having a great day as well, finishing as the first female. She did tell me that the run course was tough as well, but also very scenic.

How cool is it that the race photos are free!

After I finished I wandered over to the post race food. I was super impressed by the amount and quality of hot food for all the racers! This race is everything I would expect from John, tough course, scenic venue and great food. I ended up winning my category (female aquavelo).... but I was also the only one in my category.... Still though, I ended up with a little gift card and there was all sorts of swag and gift cards for age group winners. Very cool, even a bouquet for the female sprint/olympic winners. 

Overall, a very fun race weekend getting to see both sides as a volunteer and racer. I hope to come back next year healthy so I can race the whole thing!

This race report was a little delayed so I am happy to report that I just started running again this week and I feel good! Even though I took a 6 week break from running, the biking/pool running/swimming that Tara has had my doing has me feeling very fit. I feel that I have maintained some good fitness for the run and have even improved on the bike and swim. Last weekend I was able to get some good riding in my home state of RI while visiting some close friends and family. After a solid few weeks of training I will be heading to Utah tomorrow for a little vacation! Pretty good timing as well with a little running build (good trails out there!). We will be rock climbing, hiking, mountain biking and camping. I will take lots of pictures and post an update once we are back.

Lemons: struggles of a female athlete

Remember that saying? When life gives you lemons, make lemonade? I made a lot of lemonade last year. When I found out I needed surgery I really came to terms with it pretty quickly. It had to be done so I just wanted to do it and get on with it. I knew injuries can be much much worse, and while missing a season wasn't awesome, it was just one season. Last year I handled my recovery very well and remained pretty positive throughout the whole thing. My thinking was always ok I put in the time recovering properly this year and I can have a solid season next year. With a solid race at Puerto Rico 70.3 it was definitely looking to be a great season.

About a month out from Texas I noticed some pain in the groin/hip flexor region on my right side (it was my left side that I had surgery on last year). I honestly wasn't extremely worried about it and figured I likely strained something. I went to PT right away and was working on being as proactive as possible. Since the discomfort had been going away after about a half mile I continued to train for my last two peak weeks. I even had an awesome 23mi (3 hr) run 2 weeks out from Texas. My fitness was great and despite the injury I had remained confident I could still have a great race. A couple days (and a couple runs) after that 3 hr run, the pain in my hip became worse and was no longer easing off during the run. I took a week off running, figuring I wouldn't run until the race if necessary since I was still confident in my build up and fitness. I wasn't really showing major signs of a stress fracture or labral tear and we chalked it up to some misalignment, compensation and inflammation issues. I was scheduled to leave for IMTX on Wed May 11. On Tues May 10 I tried a short run (10 min) at PT. I stepped off the treadmill and my PT asked how it felt. Not good, I answered. It had been extremely difficult to get through a 10 min run, and while I could probably get through the marathon, at what cost? Plus it would probably be the most miserable marathon of my life. However, I was still hanging on to a thread of possibility that I could race. I had worked so hard in my build up to IMTX, I was in the best shape I think I've ever been in for an IM. I was so close.

I left PT a bit tearful with plans to come back later that day to try one last ditch effort to correct my misalignment and see if it made a difference. I have to give my PT a huge thank you for doing everything in his power to see if we could figure it out before I was scheduled to leave. I called coach Tara on the way home and we quickly made the decision that I wouldn't race. I knew it was the right decision, but I still needed her to talk me through it. I needed someone that knew the ins and outs of the work I had put in to tell me it would be ok. Very dramatic I know.

Post decision I talked to my PT about going to an orthopedist to get an MRI done. Then I took my pups out for froyo and started planning some fun things to do that weekend that would take my mind off not racing. I saw a different ortho from last year, and initially talked to his PA. The PA was thinking tendonitis but wanted to rule out a stress fracture. After everything I dealt with last year I was grateful for him ordering an arthrogram (would show stress fracture, labral tear, tendonitis etc etc) just in case. I wasn't showing any symptoms of a labral tear, but I am of course paranoid of all things hip injury related.

I had a really fun weekend despite the change in plans. I went out with some awesome ladies. Brian and I had a nice evening playing mini golf and eating huge desserts. I went for a fun long ride (bakery stop included) with some great guys. We went kayaking with some good friends. Lastly we had a fun evening at the beach and dinner with some rock climbing friends.

I had my arthrogram and was nervous about how familiar this whole thing has been relative to last year. The radiologist very kindly called me personally early the next day to let me know the results himself. He told me he could see a small labral tear and a stress reaction. My heart sank (I even exclaimed noooooooooooooo on the phone). Last year I had had a large labral tear and a stress fracture. He quickly followed up by saying that when he does hip/shoulder arthrograms on athletes, most of the time there are small labral tears but since I was asymptomatic it was likely nothing to worry about (phew). He then told me that the stress reaction (swelling in the bone) was early (no fracture yet) so would not require as much time to heal as a fracture would. I silently realized that if I had run IMTX it would have likely developed into a fracture.

I saw the ortho that afternoon, and honestly seconds after he walked through the door I was not a fan. This was my first time meeting with him and immediately after walking through the door he said you're too skinny, you don't eat enough. Now my friends are well aware how much I eat since I usually finish their meals at dinners out... He then proceeded to be very condescending and even said that I probably wouldn't be able to do well at Lake Placid with this short break from running (clearly he doesn't know me very well). All I really wanted to know was when I could run again, and he indicated 6 weeks from my last run which would put me at June 15, not horrible. I would still be able to swim, pool run, bike, elliptical to my hearts content as long as their was no pain/discomfort. The one thing he did mention that was useful information was that I should talk to an obgyn about possible low estrogen.

I figured hey, if the doctor was insisting I was too skinny then that is just an excuse to eat some spaghetti and meatballs and ice cream!

Here is where this may be too much information, but hopefully might be helpful for other female athletes. It is somewhat well known that female athletes are at a higher risk for things like stress fractures and anemia. The increased risk for stress fractures has been linked to vitamin D deficiencies and also low estrogen. Estrogen likes body fat, so since endurance athletes are often very lean, estrogen can become low. Estrogen also helps to protect the bones. I had skipped a few cycles and had been somewhat irregular. I hadn't been worried about it too much since it happens to female endurance athletes all the time. Last year in addition to the labral tear that I had surgery to repair I had also had a stress fracture. Initially I had assumed it was solely due to the instability in my hip joint from the tear. However, I had gotten off birth control early last year because I really just didn't like being on it. It was starting to click. The birth control could have been providing me with the estrogen needed to preserve my bone health. Possibly related (but maybe not), osteoporosis runs in my family (both my mom and maternal grandmother). I went to the obgyn and had some blood work done. My estradiol was a bit low (normal is 50, mine was 37), and my vitamin D was borderline normal. The obgyn put me back on birth control to increase the estrogen to protect me bones and encouraged me to continue to take Vitamin D and calcium.

I am really sad to miss a couple races that had been on my schedule (IM Texas and Eagleman 70.3), but am confident that I will be ok for the rest of the season. Even without running, I feel like I've been able to do some pretty solid training. I have two weeks left until I can start running again and my hip is actually feeling really good. I feel like I could run now, but a friend in the medical field said when it feels good, give it two more weeks. That puts me right at June 15 so I'm feeling good about the recovery. I am getting pretty over pool running, but sometimes we have to do things we aren't super excited about to get where we want to go.

Lessons from rock climbing

Several years ago Brian and I were listening to Chris McCormick's book "I'm here to win" driving to a race. In the book he mentions learning from other sports and athletes. For him, he took lessons from boxing. Within the past year Brian has been getting really into mountaineering and rock climbing. I have jumped on board as well and now we go to the rock gym a couple times a week and will often climb on the weekend (I usually meet them after doing a long run on the trails). Getting into rock climbing has been an awesome and humbling experience. It is a lot of fun interacting with a different type of athlete and also learning a new sport. It's fun to have an activity that I do without worrying about being competitive. If I make a harder route, cool, if not that's ok too. I've been thinking a lot recently about the lessons I've had in rock climbing and how they can apply to triathlon. In fact, like Macca, I also think it is important that we learn from other sports and athletes. Even within triathlon, I have often encouraged athletes to ride with pure cyclists, swim with pure swimmers and run with pure runners. You will develop important skills such as bike control, pacing or form. You will also likely be challenged by them and trying to stick with someone in training that is faster than yourself will make you a better athlete both physically and mentally. Rock climbing and triathlon seem so different but I have still been able to learn a lot and apply it to my training. It has been very refreshing to meet new people with a different outlook on sport. Below are some of the lessons I have learned.

Trust your feet
I have a hard time keeping my feet on the wall. They always seem to want to slide out from under me, leaving me dangling. My climbing buddy Shea is always telling me "trust your feet," meaning that I should be confident that my feet will support me as I reach for the next hold. In triathlon, you have to trust that your feet will carry you to the finish line. IM Lake Placid 2014 was the first time that I really thought my feet might fail me. I was on the second loop of the run and my body was slowly shutting down. With a mere 2 miles to go I felt that my legs would buckle and I wouldn't be able to go on. In climbing it's always feet before hands. You have to think about your foot placement before you start reaching for holds. Your feet are your base, place your feet then worry about the rest. In Lake Placid I had to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and trust that my feet would carry me to the finish.

Just go for it

The shorter girls at the gym (including myself in this little group) often hate this saying. Usually it comes when we are trying to work our way through a problem with holds that are difficult to reach. A tall male may come over and say "oh you just have to go for it." The "just" in that sentence seems a lot easier with a foot longer wingspan though. I have even spread my arms out in front of one such individual and he responded with an oh yeah... Us short girls stick together and try to come up with creative ways to work through a problem that has a difficult reach. Maybe by bringing a hip to the wall or smearing a foot, pushing off and just praying that contact is made. When Brian is helping me work through a problem he pretends that he is much shorter to think about different ways to get a bit more reach. Sometimes though, despite all of our creative efforts, it really does come down to just going for it. This is where I often have trouble. If it is a high, big move I sometimes hesitate and second guess myself, especially on boulder problems without the rope safety net. I am working on going for it anyway though. Just because something is scary doesn't mean we shouldn't go for it. In fact the things that have scared me the most, and I went for it anyway, have been the most rewarding.

Don't come off the wall
This one is related to "Just go for it." One of my biggest struggles with climbing has been very overhanging routes. Maybe it is related to my distaste for doing pull ups, even though they "build character" as our friend Zack would say. My friend Shea has belayed me on a few overhanging routes. There have been several times where I get to the crux (the hard part of the route) and just can't seem to make the move. My first reaction is to let go and ask to be let down, "I'll try it again later" I tell myself, "I'm too tired" I say. Shea sits back and yells up "try it again!" not letting me down until I give it another go. I rest a minute, shake out my arms, try it again and again can't get the crux. "Just once more" she'll yell (though I know once more doesn't necessarily mean once more). We've done this a few times, and you know, I often get it eventually without being let down. Or if I do eventually come down, I'll come back to the same problem until I can get it. This has shown me that even when you're tired and disheartened, if you just keep at it, it will eventually come together.

Learning how to fall
Sometimes you fall, and you know what? Falling is ok, good in fact because it means you probably went for it. You should never not go after something because of a fear of falling or failure. This is something I myself am still working on because sometimes goals or rock climbing problems are scary. The higher the move or the bigger the goal, the scarier falling/failing becomes. So you go for it and maybe you fall off the wall, or you come up a little short on your goal. They way you fall is important. In rock climbing it is important to get your feet under you. When you come up short on a goal, you get your feet under you by determining why you fell short and then learning from it for next time. Most importantly, after you fall, take a step back, assess what you could have done differently, then get back on the wall. You can't be on every day, but you can learn from every day.

Look at the problem
My husband Brian is always getting after me for this one. I am an impetuous, impatient person and I will jump on a problem without even looking at it. I often won't even look at what direction it is going in or where the top out is. I'll figure it out as I go, I tell myself. Brian will tell me, hold on, look at the problem before you get on the wall. Which hand are you going to go up to that next hold with, where are your feet going to be placed? I take the same approach to training and racing. I want to be in constant motion, I don't want to think about training/racing, I just want to be out there doing it. Now I take a much bigger effort to incorporate visualization into my routine. I think about ways that I can improve my performance outside of training including eating well, recovering, stretching, and foam rolling. My coach and I work out a race plan but also talk about how I can make changes based on my perceived effort and the conditions or competition.

Take breaks
Not surprisingly, based on my admission of being pretty impetuous and impatient, this one is also difficult for me. I will get on a route and move up it quickly, not pausing at all, wanting to be in constant motion. I've told Brian before that I never really did well in sports that required me waiting. I got bored playing softball as a kid because I had to wait to go up to bat, or I had to wait in the outfield for someone to hit the ball. It's probably why I love endurance sports so much, I love being in motion. If I'm climbing a route that isn't difficult relative to my ability level, then this isn't a problem. However, if I'm climbing something that is challenging I will often still try to hurry up it and then as I get closer to the top I find that I am getting the dreaded "pumped" feeling (forearms are getting very fatigued). Lately I have been trying to make sure I take small breaks. If I get to a good point where I have a good hold, I will shake out each arm, get a little chalk and then move on. Triathlon training and racing also requires building in breaks. Over the years of working with coach Tara I have learned to appreciate and even enjoy my easy weeks. She used to tell me to not fight the recovery. I try to work hard on my "on" days so that when recovery comes along I am ready for it and embrace it, knowing to enjoy it when it comes because it will get hard again soon. I focus on all the things I like to do but often get pushed aside during hard training. The dogs go out for longer walks, I cook more, read more and get out with friends.

Work on weaknesses
When I was in high school I was really struggling with algebra. It was my lowest grade and I was frustrated. My dad told me one day that I had to work to make my weakest subject my best subject. In rock climbing, as I mentioned earlier, I struggle with overhanging routes the most. There is a big temptation to avoid them completely and instead do routes I am confident in. Sometimes I get embarrassed trying an overhanging route again and again, falling off each time, usually with an audience of a few more seasoned climbers. It is easy to work on the stuff you are good at and enjoy, it's much harder to try to make gains where you struggle. In triathlon, my weakness has always been swimming. I didn't grow up on swim teams, and didn't really learn how to swim properly until I was 18 or so. In my first professional race I was dropped by nearly the entire womens field within 400m of the start. In my last race, Puerto Rico 70.3, I came out with a big group of women pretty close to the front. That was huge for me and I owe a lot of it to Tara giving me swim focus weeks/months and the masters group kicking my butt. By swimming with pure swimmers I have learned new strokes that have made my freestyle stronger and more balanced. I've also had plenty of people to chase (and often get lapped by) to push myself to new limits.

Don't underestimate yourself
It is tempting in the gym sometimes to look at a problem and say oh no that grade is too tough for me, I won't be able to climb that. I can be guilty of this, I know I can consistently climb one grade, another grade is a good challenge, but I think higher grades are out of my reach so I won't even attempt them. It has taken some nudging from climbing buddies (Brian, Shea, Zack, John, Morgan and Josh) and then I might try a harder grade. If I complete the problem I am often surprised and I realize that I've been underestimating myself. This kind of goes back to "just go for it, don't come off the wall and learning to fall." Brian always says, "what's the worst that will happen? You try it and fall? Big deal, at least you tried it." This is part of the reason why I took my elite license. I had the opportunity to race against the big girls! Even if I came in last in the pro field, at least I was out there challenging myself to become a better athlete. I have learned a lot in the process and am grateful for each race, no matter where I place. Those moments where I surprise myself make all the hard finishes totally worth it.

Trust your partner
This lesson is probably the easiest for me, because I have such a great group of people around me. I never question that my climbing partners will catch me if I take a fall. In the same way I am confident that my coach Tara will give me the training and preparation I need to do the best I can do. I was confident last year in my doctor and PT that the surgery and rehab would get me back to 100%. I have so much faith in Brian, my family and friends that they will support me in my training or racing regardless of what place or time I come in for races.

  

There are so many different types of athletes and people around us. Get involved in something different, even if it's just a pick up soccer game. Changing up the grind a little will leave you more appreciative and refreshed so you can attack your training with new vigor. You might also learn a bit in the process as I have with climbing.

Puerto Rico 70.3

I love the following quote from one of my favorite books Again to Carthage (John Parker):

"What I mean is that someone sees a race, and they think that’s what you do. They sort of know you had to train, but they weren’t watching then, so they don’t understand how incredibly much of it there is. But to us, it’s almost the whole thing. Racing is just this little tiny ritual we got through after everything else has been done. It’s a hood ornament."

It had special meaning to me this past week because getting back to the starting line was the big fight this year. These past few months I have felt stronger even than before my hip surgery last year. Despite feeling really strong and having some solid training under my belt, I was nervous about getting back on the starting line. Anyone that has followed my racing has likely noticed that I have struggled with the 70.3 distance. I often even go the same speed in a 70.3 as in a 140.6. I wanted to break that cycle this year, and also race well in the heat. Still though, I tried to go into this race without putting a lot of pressure on myself, and coach Tara even wrote the following in my race plan:

"Have fun in this first comeback race.  No matter your finishing position, just execute your race girlie.  You are ready to start your season."

Being around friends during the race weekend definitely helped to make it fun and keep the nerves at bay. A group of local athletes from Hampton Roads was there for the race including Lucero, Robin, Diana, JP, Tanya and Tony. Lucero, Tony and Diana are coached by the Dai Roberts Group and both Dai and his wife Denise came down for the race. Even though I am not one of their coached athletes, they showed me a tremendous amount of support over the weekend and I am very grateful to have had them there. Lucero and Diana graciously let me stay with them when my arrangements fell through. Robin invited me on some island adventures with her. Lucero's mother took all of us in. Lucero and mama Lucero even pretended it was my birthday at dinner one night so that they would deliver cake to me, make me laugh and calm my pre race nerves. After the race I was able to catch up with friends Tomasz and Kasia. Tomasz met me when I was first getting into triathlon. I remember at Providence 70.3 in 2010 he asked me what age group I was in. When I answered 18-24, he said oh, the Ironkids division! It has been really fun staying in touch with him over the years. I was also able to catch up with our friend Kiley, who finished in a great 2nd in AG despite flatting on the bike. Overall, I was once again reminded of the generosity and kindness of the triathlon community. Big congrats to everyone for a great day out there!

My "birthday" celebration

Despite a hot, tough day, this girl (Lucero) always had a big smile on her face

I wasn't quick enough with the camera to get everyone, but here is Tanya. Sometimes I have a hard time hearing cheers on the course but I heard her, thanks girl!

Kiley, 2nd 30-34 even with a flat

Post race dinner out with friends Tomasz and Kasia

Race morning came quickly and I walked down to the swim start with new pro and fellow Virginian Samone. It's always nice getting to meet the other women and chat with them. After a short warm up, I lined up with the other women. The start was not quite as fast as I expected, or maybe I'm finally getting better at race starts. Getting my butt kicked at masters swim has probably helped with that :) I was able to get in with a really good group and stayed with them, resulting in probably my best non-current aided swim. I didn't fall on my face coming down the ramp steps, gave Denise a big grin for starting the day off well and started the long trek to T1.

 

Before the swim start, getting zipped into my awesome Zoot swim skin by Tony

At the start of the bike I passed a few women and settled into my effort. I had my concentrated bottle of Infinit that I was taking gulps from every 10 min to get some good calories and sodium. The bike course was a fun, fast course. They actually closed a large portion of highway for the race so we were treated to wide lanes, some small hills (mostly overpasses and exit ramps) and some great views of the ocean. At the pro meeting the day before, one of the Ironman employees joked that he was on the iguana scraping team and the roads did look very clean. I almost added to the dead iguana count myself though when one ran right in front of my oncoming bike.

Thank you Phil at Competitive Image for this amazing photo, and was very nice to meet you walking back from dinner one night!

I had decided before the race to wear my Smith Optics road helmet and really think that it helped me to not overheat too much. Even so I could feel myself starting to get hot in the last 10-15 miles and at that point we were riding into the head/cross wind to get back to T2. At this point I made the hard but important decision to listen to myself and dialed back my effort just a little. I also decided that I would probably need to go out more conservatively than I had originally planned on the run. I wanted to spend the first few miles focusing on cooling and not overheating.

Some bike photos from ATV photography, thank you Allan!

It was already pretty warm starting the run. Not "melt your face off hot" like my homestay Kelly described the 2014 Ironman Louisville, but nonetheless pretty hot. Plus we have only had a couple days in Virginia where it has gotten into the low 80s for a high. I knew cooling, hydration and salt would be critical. I had done well with electrolytes on the bike in my custom mix and for the run I carried some extra Base Performance salt to keep them topped off. I grabbed as many cups of water and ice from the aid stations as I could. Luckily I had my Zoot tempos that felt light on my feet, drained the water well, and left me with zero blisters. The volunteers were awesome, and I'm sorry for any I accidentally threw water onto! I went a little back and forth with one of the ladies early in the run and then she pulled away. I was determined to run my own race and knew that I was making the right decision holding back a little.

Thank you ATV photography for this photo! Holy quads

The run course is two loops and at the far end of the course we passed through the gate of San Juan and ran along the side of the fort. This area has been deemed "the microwave" because the heat radiates off the tall fort walls. Since it is a national park, it is also the longest stretch without aid (about 1.5 mi). I really loved this part though. The views were amazing and after a few short, steep hills it was nice to have a long flat stretch to pick up some momentum. Back out the gate it was a short, steep cobblestone hill. Turning around for the second loop I knew I was going to be able to have a good last 6 miles. Entering the fort again I could see 3 women not too far ahead. I picked it up a little and made the passes before going back through the gate. I ran hard up the cobblestone hill and then kept a good steady push the last two miles, scared they would summon some energy reserves and pass me back.

Thank you again Phil at Competitive Image photo for these great shots, you were saying you just want to make the athletes look cool and I think you did!

There was one final hill right before the finish chute and then I could see the line I'd been waiting over a year to see again. I was grinning from ear to ear, slapping high fives and was so excited to be back in the game. I was extremely pumped to be 5th, my best placing in a 70.3. Even more than that though I was proud of myself for racing within myself and executing a good day. I controlled my race rather than letting the race control me, and that is a lesson I will keep with me.

Thank you to my new Puerto Rican friend Emma for this picture! She helped me during check in, wished me luck before the swim (and took that pre-swim photo) and gave me a big hug at the finish while she was volunteering. I love this community!

After the race I chatted with several of the professional women. I have always been very impressed at how gracious and nice they all are. I met several at this race that I hadn't met before and am looking forward to seeing them again at other races this season. I've had the pro women celebrate with me after a good result and comfort me after a not so great day. They set wonderful examples and I am proud to be a part of the group.

Big congrats to Tine Decker! And all of the professional women

I got a few calories in, a little post race massage, grabbed my stuff from transition and called Brian. He more than anyone has seen firsthand the work I've put in to get back this season. He was really excited for me that everything came together on race day, especially since he knows I've had trouble before with 70.3s. I also had stolen his orange Smith sunglasses for the race so I think now I will have to keep racing with them :P I called my coach Tara and she was ecstatic that all the training has paid off and I was able to race smart. It is always so awesome to look at my phone after the race and see the incredible pouring in of support from friends and family. Usually regardless of the result! I know some might say it's "just" 5th, but I honestly felt like I had won with the amount of encouragement and congratulations I received. So I thank you all so much for that. Huge thank yous to the companies that support me. I was wearing my Zoot kit from last year (which was pretty fitting for my comeback race), so look out for my new Team Zoot kit coming shortly. Zoot makes the best tri kits, and I love the Zoot tempo shoe and swim skin. I loaded up on Beet Performer (use code rachel16 for 15% off at Amazon!) pre-race and really feel a difference drinking it on a regular basis. Pre-race I drank some Infinit mud for a little boost and then used my custom bike mix in a concentrated bottle for the bike (available in their community formulas!). I felt well fueled and hydrated, then post race the nocturne helped with my recovery. The Garmin 920 and Vector pedals were the perfect tools to make sure I was maintaining good efforts and paces. The neon Smith optics helmet had perfect venting for a hot day and I love their sunglasses. Ghent chiropractic is always making sure my body is working properly so I don't have any twinges on race day. Even though I dread ART work on my psoas, my stride appreciates it.

Lucero, Robin and I after the race enjoying some shade (something that was in short supply on the course!)

I also want to give a big thank you to my surgeon Dr. Andrew Wolff of Washington Orthopedics and Sports Medicine for doing such a great job on my hip. He was very reassuring and attentive and understood my goals to get back to full training and racing. My PT Dr. Lucas Johnson and his assistant JP worked closely with me on my rehab and I would not be in the shape I am now with no issues if it weren't for them.

I don't usually get to do the destination race thing. So now, a montage of my time in Puerto Rico:

Pre race checking out the Camuy Caves, really pretty

Who needs horse trailers in Puerto Rico

I did a bit of a caffeine taper for the race, so was very excited to get some Puerto Rican coffee after

I wanted to get some pictures of the architecture for my brother (an architecture student at RPI). I loved all the colorful buildings and different doors.

The gate of San Juan, it was pretty cool running through this, the same gate the king used to arrive through.

La Fortaleza San Felipe Del Morro. The fort we ran through twice on the far end of the run course. Also called "the microwave" because the heat radiates off the fort walls. I really loved this part of the course though.

Steep cobblestone hill we ran up right after exiting the fort. Another fort we ran by (La Fortaleza San Cristobal)

Some of the wildlife, still sad I didn't see a manatee. Brian got so excited about the iguanas, he really wanted me to try and catch one. 

The day after the race, we chased some fish around in the clear water. Saw lots of cool fish, including my favorite sergeant major fish, a barracuda, surgeonfish, angelfish, lionfish, and some colorful wrasses and damselfish.

It was Luceros' turn for a fake birthday at our post-race celebration. Loved getting to hang out with all these wonderful people!

A few last minutes relaxing by the ocean before flying out

Don't call it a comeback! Excited for the rest of this season. Up next some local racing and then IMTX!