I took approximately 101,000 steps running in the 5 weeks between being allowed to run again post stress reaction and lining up at IM Lake Placid. 101,000 steps undone by a single mis-placed step. Once I realized that it all came down to that single step, it seemed so unlikely that I felt for sure this must be a mistake and I would be awarded a do-over, a mulligan. Once again, there are no mulligans in mini golf, and there are no mulligans in life. I had another choice, do I wallow in the unfairness of it all? Or do I play the ball where it lay?
I do not have a career in mini golf
Mini golf champ - Dad
Let me back up a little. My build up to IM Lake Placid was not exactly ideal. I was only just allowed to begin running (after 6 wks no running for a hip stress reaction) on June 15, giving me 5 weeks to race day. I pool ran during the 6 wks and then after June 15 I mostly did only aerobic runs but had a week of some intensity. Despite all of that, I was feeling good going into race week, and feeling extremely grateful to be back on an Ironman starting line. This was going to be the first Ironman my parents and sister (and her fiance) would see me race. Brian and several friends were also there, making this my biggest cheer section ever. Brian even drove the 11 hrs by himself having just gotten back from crewing a friend at the Badwater ultra marathon (she crushed it by the way, finishing 2nd female in 28:40). I love having family and friends at races and was excited to share the experience with them. I was extremely grateful for the Recchia family taking some of us into their home and being wonderful hosts. The day before the race, I was excitedly showing my parents part of the town and went down to the lake to show them the swim course. My dad is very observant and mentioned that the soft sand might be tricky to navigate coming out of the water tired and disoriented after the swim. I brushed off his concerns, I mean how many times have I run out of the water on all sorts of surfaces? I did joke that if anyone was going to fall and make a fool out of themselves, it would probably be me.
Race morning dawned and I was excited to get going. The gun went off and I didn't have an awesome start but not bad either. My attention lapsed for a second and the front group was gone, but I was happily swimming well on someone's feet in the chase pack. Coming around the dock finishing the first lap, I heard the horn signalling the age group start. I was a little surprised they didn't wait for us to be clear and mentally noted that I would have to work hard to stay with the girl who's feet I was on. I managed to stay with her 400m into the second lap until the chaos separated us. Swimming inside the buoys as we were allowed wasn't a huge help and at some point during the swim, my Garmin was knocked off the quick release. If anyone wants to go diving in mirror lake, you may find a Garmin 920XT somewhere near the cable. I glanced at my wrist finishing the swim and my heart sank to see no watch. I've gone off of feel before though so I didn't worry too much about having no data.
Here's where it got interesting. Running up the beach, I was reaching to get my swim skin half off. I must have planted my foot wrong in the sand, because my knee suddenly hyper extended and I fell. I had felt a small crunch and then some pain but thought oh I just tweaked something. A collective oh! came from the crowd. I stood up and seemed ok and the crowd started cheering. I jogged into T1 and while the knee didn't feel great, it wasn't awful (possibly due to a lot of adrenaline) and I figured it was going to spin itself out and be fine. I motioned to Brian I had lost my watch and he yelled to just race my race.
Signalling to Brian that I had lost my watch
Starting the bike I felt great. I wasn't sure of my position but had come out near some other women. I reminded myself to be conservative on the climb out of town, but also remembered what coach Tara said about using the bike as a strength. I had a lot of fun on the descent, tucking down even further to get every last bit of speed. The road by the river is fun for me because it's a good chance to get some momentum. I had passed someone on the descent and noticed I was gradually catching someone further ahead. At the turn around I saw that I was in 5th! The girl ahead of me was Amber and Beth was just behind. The three of us climbed back to town and I was surprised to find the climb not nearly as bad as I had remembered. I was so excited to be riding near Beth and Amber because they are strong athletes and I have looked up to them and many of the other women (I think I totally fan girled on Heather Jackson handing out medals at the kids race). Plus they're both super nice and Amber and I exchanged several thumbs ups at turn arounds. Coming into town it was Beth, then Amber, then me about 10-20 sec back. I was whipping around Mirror Lake and saw a blur of commotion ahead of me. Someone yelled someones down and just in time I was able to hit the brakes and avoid the cyclist and crowd accruing. I went by and saw that it was Amber and my heart sank for her. There seemed to be many people helping her so I continued on. As I came by Brian I yelled that Amber went down in hopes that he might be able to tell someone that could notify her family. Turns out her sister was standing there and took off running. I continued onto the second loop. I found out later that she was mostly ok but still felt sad for the unfortunate circumstance since she is a fierce competitor.
The Zoot Sports speed suit rocks
I still felt strong on the second loop. In 2014 when I raced Lake Placid I remembered really hurting on the second loop. I was feeling well fueled by my Infinit custom mix and the little bit of wind played to my strengths riding in windy Chesapeake. I caught up to Beth at the turn around. For a little while I tried to just pace off of her. I had no data and thought I should hold back. Starting the climb back to town I realized I had a fair amount in the tank and decided to push it a bit more and made the pass. Riding into town, it hit me that I was in 4th and feeling really strong. I wasn't beat up like in 2014, I was feeling strong and ready to run.
I got off my bike, passed it to a volunteer, took a few steps and realized something was very wrong. I was in total denial and still attempted to run through T2. It was more of a slow limp with the tears already flowing. A photographer managed to capture what I'm sure is a lovely image of desperation. Limping into the change tent, one of the ART specialists immediately came over and was trying to work on my knee. I put shoes on hoping they would help. She worked on it, I attempted to walk/run, repeat times about 3. I couldn't really bear weight and it just seemed to be getting worse. They half carried me to the med tent and I still had not conceded that I wasn't racing. I was still making sure my visor and race belt were on. They looked at it and said they would try ice to see if it helped. After icing it for ~15 min I attempted to walk again (I mean serious denial at this point) and again couldn't bear weight. I had been prepared to walk the whole marathon but I couldn't take a step without buckling in pain (very dramatic I know). I finally conceded that I wasn't going anywhere and asked them if they could find Brian. He came in shortly later and gave me a much needed long hug. He also got my coach Tara on the phone. Tara has been coaching me since early 2012 and knows me better than many. Her words were comforting because she validated how I was feeling and let me know it was ok to feel that way. She told me it was ok to be pissed off because it was an unfair and cruel situation after the last year of battling back from surgery and then a stress reaction. She assured me that we would take it one day at a time. We also talked about how I could be really proud of how I had raced up to T2 and how it showed my fitness and improvement.
I wasn't sure what to do since I really couldn't walk and the medical tent had no crutches. One of the amazing volunteers drove to a nearby school to get me a pair of crutches, only asking that I pass them on to someone else that needed them. Now that I'm home with my crutches from last year I will be giving them to my PT who said he will donate them to someone who needs them. The med tent doctor, who was also awesome, recommended I get an x-ray when I got home and released me.
One positive thing that came from the situation was meeting a female age group athlete laid up next to me. Bees had gotten into her bike shoe and stung the heck out of her foot and she had to pull out of the race. We commiserated together about our unfortunate days. She then asked how to handle a DNF. I replied that this was my first DNF as well but I would tell her how I planned to handle it (borrowing from Tara). I told her to be angry, she had worked hard for that day and being upset just meant that she really cared (which is a good thing). I told her to be angry and upset, but not for too long. I said tomorrow start thinking about what you can do to get back and work towards the next one. Think about what went right on the day, think about where you can improve, just keep working towards the next goal. I hope I was at least a small comfort to her and that our commiserating could be a positive note in a tough situation.
I couldn't bear just sitting in the house dwelling on my knee, so I spent most of the rest of the day/night hobbling around town on my crutches spectating and cheering. I was happy to finally meet Jennie Hansen in person as we chatted quite a bit after both having hip surgery last year. I kept joking that I should have just crutched the marathon. In retrospect that would have been a horrible idea. I was happy to see a few friends complete their first IM. The pro women were extremely impressive and I loved watching them come in, huge congrats to Heather Jackson and all of the rest.
I followed Brian home the next day, an 11 hour drive. We had to drive separately because he had been crewing in California when I drove to Lake Placid. He wanted us to be close together on the drive home in case I had issues with my knee. My friend Michelle had knee surgery in 2012 and liked her doctor (Dr. Kevin Bonner at Jordan Young Institute). I called the office and was happy that they were able to squeeze me in the next afternoon. I was very impressed with him and his PA. They took X-rays and did an exam. Based on the X-ray and where/how my pain felt, he said it was likely a compression fracture on the anterior tibia from the femur and tibia coming together during hyper extension. An MRI later in the week confirmed his diagnosis. The MRI was on a Friday afternoon, and he actually called me Sunday morning (what a great doctor!) to let me know the findings. My coach and I had discussed that a straight forward fracture might actually be the best diagnosis. Surgery is not necessary and the fracture will likely heal with 6 weeks non-weight bearing. I had been worried about potential meniscus damage but it appears to be a fairly straight forward fracture. I will be meeting with him on Thursday to discuss a timeline for recovery but he did mention that after 4 weeks I should be able to get on the bike a bit. I am a little concerned about not being able to follow up with him after 6 weeks since he has been so great, but faculty at Holderness School have already mentioned a good doctor up there.
This brings me back to mulligans. I still feel as though breaking my knee running in the sand is so unlikely that it must all be a bad dream. However, friends do know that I am a giant clutz and Murphy's law probably applies. To be totally honest, I have had a much harder time accepting this injury than my surgery last year or stress reaction earlier this year. I try to remain positive, but I am also human. Last year I knew I would have this season and after racing hard for several years, a year off didn't seem like the worst thing. Earlier this year when I had to back out of IM Texas, I knew I would still have IM Lake Placid. We are moving to NH in a few weeks and I will be starting a new job which always creates a fair amount of uncertainty. I would like to still have a comeback race this season but am also trying to take one day at a time. I do know that ever since IM Florida 2014 I have felt that I am really getting the hang of racing in the pro field and am able to race more to my potential. That kind of momentum is something I want to keep going. Every time I get knocked down, I want to pick myself up again and keep fighting. This case is no exception, I plan to come back swinging as soon as I'm able. I don't get a mulligan on IM Lake Placid, but hopefully this will just be a little speed bump on the way to something even better.
