Not done yet

Ever since 2015 when I had surgery on my hip, I have felt that I am in a continuous state of "coming back." At first it was from surgery, then it was from stress fractures and then later from 2 pregnancies/deliveries in 3 years. Many know (and I'm not ashamed to admit it), that our little Corbin was a surprise. A couple weeks after IM Lake Placid 2018, I mentioned to Brian that I had been getting dizzy, similar to my early pregnancy with Annabel. I was also getting up in the middle of the night to eat despite a really low training load. Soon after, we found out that we were going to have another little one (and I had unknowingly done IMLP pregnant!). Annabel and Corbin ended up being 19 months apart. For months, I struggled to come to terms with being pregnant again so soon. Our original plan had been for me to come back with strong 2018 and 2019 seasons and then think about a second kid. We had figured about 3 years between the two of them. Despite low training volume in 2018, I was feeling really strong and excited to see what I could do. I thought I was finally done with coming back and I could gain some momentum. When I found out I was pregnant again, I worried that my athletic career was over, and it wasn't on my terms. I held out hope that I would be able to recover quickly again and race in the summer of 2019 and ideally re-up my pro license. Then I broke my ankle badly 2 weeks before Corbin made his arrival. I had done tough comebacks before, but recovering from pregnancy, delivery and a broken ankle with a newborn and toddler seemed insurmountable. My hopes of being able to race well enough in 2019 to re-up my pro license slipped away. It may have been possible, but I knew it would come at a cost not just to me, but also from my family. I made peace with my pro career ending. Although I made peace with it, I also reflected on the difficulty of balancing family and athletics while prioritizing my health and well-being. USAT elite licenses are valid for 3 years before needing to requalify. In those 3 years, I had had 2 children and broken my ankle. While I had maternity leave from my job as a high school teacher, there was no maternity leave in triathlon. If I wanted to compete, I had to get back fast, risking my health and my commitment to being present for my new and then growing family. I decided to send the following email to USAT:

I'm not sure if you are the right contact for this email, but hope that you will forward it on if not. I am writing to you about a dilemma that I (and other women in the sport) are facing: the choice between family and sport. Before kids, I thought I could do it all. Now, I have realized that, yes I can, but it often comes at a great cost. I have been racing as an elite long course triathlete since January of 2013. I am the kind of elite triathlete that brings home paychecks but has not reached the top steps of the podium. This was not a career move for me, but rather a way to get the best out of myself.  I have loved the challenge of racing in the elite field and being a part of an incredibly strong field of women. Testing myself against the best in the world has taught me a lot about myself. In August of 2017 we had our daughter Annabel. I had it all planned out, I had eligibility until 2019 so I would get back over the winter and race hard in 2018 and 2019 before thinking about adding to our family. I came back strong in 2018 and raced to an 8th place at Ironman Lake Placid. I had planned to race a couple more times that year to requalify. A week after the race, I found out that I was pregnant (and was during the race). While we were excited about our new addition, all of a sudden my future as an athlete was in question. To add to that, I broke my ankle badly slipping on ice shortly before my son was born in March 2019. This further complicated and delayed my recovery. I could try to train and race in December for a last minute attempt at requalifying, but knew with my weakened core and ankle, that I would be risking injury. Once I was allowed to slowly return to running in July, I was essentially building back my fitness from scratch.

I send this story to you because I called USAT asking if it was possible to receive a one year extension because of my pregnancies. I was told that I would not be granted an extension, and that none had ever been given out for pregnancy (I had heard a rumor that they were offered). I was disappointed, but made peace with my situation. I regret not being able to gain some momentum to really see where I could go in the professional field. More than that though, it got me thinking about the female professional field as a whole. Our prime years for athletics unfortunately coincide with our prime years for making a family. This often results in pressure to choose between the two, and is likely a contributing factor to a smaller female field than male field. If women do try to do both, they are often forced to either come back too quickly or delay having a family until the timing is "right." In coming back from pregnancy, it is now advised to delay running for at least 12 weeks ,and even after that, the core can be significantly weak and cause injuries. Breastfeeding limits the number of hours of training in order to maintain good milk supply, and the hormones produced while nursing can stretch ligaments and cause a higher risk for injury. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for a year. If all of that is considered, the pregnancy plus the time recovering from birth plus trying to breastfeed, the timeline can get upwards of 2 years before a strong return to sport without risking injury. That isn't to say it can't be done sooner, but it may come at a cost, and that cost can look very different depending on the person. Anecdotally, I've seen other pro women either battle injuries in the first year returning after baby, or leave the sport entirely.

I write about this not necessarily for myself. I have made peace with not requalifying this year, and may do a race as an amateur next year to requalify. I write because I have a daughter, and friends with daughters, and female athlete friends that are trying to be competitive while also having a family. I coach female high school athletes in cross country running and cycling and hope that they are able to achieve the highest level in sport if they choose to go after it. I see and have experienced how hard it is to get back to competitive racing with young children while maintaining my health. I want the sport of triathlon to grow in its representation of women. I believe that an extension policy will allow women to not feel pressure to choose between family and sport. This could keep many of those elite women racing and help to grow the female side of the sport.

Thank you for your time and attention to this lengthy email. 

Best wishes,

Rachel Jastrebsky

I honestly did not expect to receive a reply. Just a couple days later, the chief marketing officer for USAT replied to my email and let me know that he was sending it to both the CEO (Rocky Harris) and the General Manager for High Performance (John Farra). I was floored that these individuals were so quickly and intently considering what I had written. A short while later, John Farra and I spoke on the phone. He let me know how seriously USAT was considering what I had discussed and asked for my opinion on what an extension policy should look like. I had been hoping for a 12 month extension policy, he was thinking 18 months. He let me know that my case should have gone into special consideration but that the guidelines for that consideration need to be more clear. He also surprised me by letting me know that my 2018 IM Lake Placid performance had been enough to requalify my elite license, giving me an extension until the end of 2021. He assured me that USAT was not in the interest of limiting the sport for women and would be discussing a pregnancy extension policy that would be included in the updated 2020 Elite Qualification Criteria. Here is the section that now discusses that policy:

I am so grateful for USAT responding to this and for working to grow female participation in triathlon. If we provide more opportunities for growth in the female field at the elite level, that growth will trickle down into the amateur fields as well. Women are doing amazing things in the sport right now. There has been a boom of elite mothers racing at the absolute top level and showing younger women that they really can have it all. My goal in this communication with USAT was to show women that they can absolutely do it all, but now they don't have to rush into a comeback if their body and mind isn't ready for it. I had posted this after I made peace with not coming back:

Now, I feel as though I have been given an unexpected gift. Now that I have extended until the end of 2021, I can leave the elite field on my terms. The Covid19 pandemic obviously complicates that for the racing season this year, but as soon as racing resumes, I plan to line up at least a few more times. For now, I am shifting into more 70.3 racing. I love Ironman, and honestly feel like I am better at that distance. The hours in training though, especially the long long bike rides, really took a toll on me and the family in 2018. I think that shifting to a 70.3 focus will allow me to get out on the weekends more with the family and do some non-triathlon activities (mountain biking, rock climbing, etc.) that I really enjoy. I am also excited at the challenge to tackle some new (and sometimes scary) goals that come with trying to get my speed up. I still love the sport and I still love that the competition helps me to get the best out of myself. Exciting things are ahead, and I look forward to embracing the opportunity to hang out with the big girls a little bit longer.