I popped my head into my dad's office in the late afternoon to let him know that I was going to do a loop around the island on my bike.I always told my dad when I was going out for a ride or run by myself, and when I expected to be back. I may have even joked that if I wasn't back in an hour, to send the search party. He just responded that he would see me in a bit. This was pretty routine, the lap around the island (exactly 19.2 miles from our house) was my favorite and most ridden cycling route. I had ridden it so many times that I knew every crack and pothole, and knew exactly what gear I needed to be in at each part.
I set out on my Giant road bike with clip on aero extensions. I had bought the bike used just a year or two before when I started to get into triathlons. It was a beautiful New England July late afternoon. The sun was out and the temperature was warm but fairly mild. I always rode around the island in a counter clockwise direction. This meant heading out towards the northern end, which is more wooded, then making my way towards and around the lighthouse at the southern end, before finishing the last couple miles by a few beaches and through town. The lighthouse was my favorite part. It was mostly uphill to get to the lighthouse, but you were rewarded with amazing views of the island, the cliffs, the lighthouse and waves splashing up on the rocks. I soaked in the sights and then turned around the lighthouse to head home. I had just come down the big hill onto the short narrow causeway between two beaches. I was enjoying the speed but also thinking about the steep uphill that I would hit right after the causeway. My legs felt great, the ride had been going very well and I was in my aero bars enjoying the speedy section by the beach. I was about 2 miles from home. I saw ahead that two cars in the oncoming traffic lane were getting ready to turn left (in front of me) into the beach parking area. The first car had time and made the turn. I remember looking at the next car, a blue Jeep, and then my next coherent memory was my dad standing at the end of a bed in a hospital room.
These next details were mostly filled in by family and friends. I don't remember much for 5 hours after seeing the Jeep. I remember some brief blurry flashes: some sirens in the ambulance, someone trying to cut off my helmet, sticking a needle in my arm.
After the first car turned, the second car turned as well. The lady in the first car acted as the first witness and said it was milliseconds after they began turning that I hit them. My hands had still been in the aero bars, I hadn't even had time to reach for the brakes. My bike and I hit the side/front of the car and I fell backwards. The boy who was driving the car, was actually a friend of my brothers, on his way to the same cross country practice that two of my younger brothers would be attending. Given that it was a late summer afternoon, there was a pretty sizable crowd at the beach, including the whole running team. I am told my brother Nate assisted in holding my head and finding towels. I was out cold for about 15 minutes and had a seizure. I was bleeding from my mouth, but no one knew the exact reason. The EMTs found my phone in my back pocket. My "banner" was my name "Rachel" as this was an old flip Nokia phone, and the first number in my contact list was AAHome. The boy, an 18 year old, then recognized me and apparently lost it, saying he killed his friends sister. Someone had called 911, and then one of the EMTs called my dad. They told him I had been in an accident, that I was unconscious, and to meet them at the location. My dad didn't mention anything to my mom just yet, not wanting to worry her. My youngest brother, Jacob, was also at the beach, and went off on the run. The coach rode up next to him and Jacob said "I hope that girl is ok," and the coach had to tell him it was me.
I was taken to Newport Hospital, across the bridge from Jamestown, about a 15 min drive. Upon arrival, they told my dad to expect me to be airlifted to a different hospital for severe brain damage. They cut off my helmet, one that I had borrowed from my sister. I was given three CT scans, one of my face, my spine and my head. My spine was ok, my head CT showed a bad head injury/concussion but no bleeding and my face CT showed a broken jaw. My lower jaw was broken clean through the middle and displaced so that one side was moved back and down. The condyle on the right side where the jaw meets the skull was gone, completely shattered. Once they had determined that there was no spinal damage or brain bleeding, it was mostly just waiting for me to come around. They had assumed the severe brain damage because of the seizure and how long I was out for. The bleeding ended up being from the break in my lower jaw. The first thing I told the doctor was that I had a half ironman race in September, and asked if I would be able to still do it. He just looked at me, and shook his head. He then explained that they couldn't do anything about my jaw, that I would have to go to a specialist and that I could also see a neurologist about my head injury if problems persisted. They did a few more x-rays to rule out other breaks, but all they found was a bruised sternum and bruised knee. Then I was discharged. I remember the receptionist was amazed that I was walking (albeit on crutches because my knee hurt badly) out of the emergency room. They said that my fitness helped me to absorb the impact. I was still bleeding a little from my mouth and nauseous/dizzy from the head injury. If you have never puked with a broken jaw, hope you never have to.
I had a few friends visit the next day and my dad took them out to show them my bike. The frame was broken cleanly in half where the fork meets the frame and the handlebars were all twisted. If I had been able to get my hands on the brakes, my hand might have been crushed between the bike and car. My dad pointed to the bike and said "now this is the point that took most of the impact." To which I looked at him and said "no dad, my face took most of the impact." I was still a little loopy...
We also went to see the car, I was told I almost totaled it and wanted to see how much damage my little self could inflict. The largest dent was in the passenger side door and the side of the car in front of the door. We assumed that was from my body/bike. I was told I knocked the mirror off and it flew into the open passenger side window. The windshield post is the hardest part on the car and there was a dent in it. At first we thought this was from the helmet, but it makes much more sense that this would be from my chin. My dad liked to play this fun game after the crash about what would have happened if I had hit differently. If I had hit more towards the back of the car, I might have gone through the window and hurt the passenger. If I had hit more forwards, I may have gone over the car and had a host of different injuries. I preferred to not think about it. Overall it was about $2000+ in damage to the car, not quite totaled.
Next we had to do something about my face. I couldn't just keep walking around with my jaw hanging all loosely, might start to freak people out. We went to an orthopedic surgeon and he took a couple x-rays and flat out told us it was out of his league. Luckily, there was another orthopedic surgeon that went to our church that had great reviews. A few days after the accident we went to see him. He took x-rays of his own and came back in and told me that he had never seen a break this bad without cuts all over my face and missing teeth. He also said that any other surgeon would probably put all sort of screws and plates in my face to get it back together. He didn't want me to have to deal with the complications that route can bring, so he told me, you're young and fit, and already doing much better than expected. We're just going to wire it shut to fix the break down the middle and not do anything to the condyle and hope it just gradually grows back in place. If it didn't work, they could always put screws in later. They put me under later that day and wired it shut. I would have it wired shut for a month (any longer and the condyle joint might fuse). This is the wiring process: they put arch bars at the top of your teeth. These are held in by wire wrapped around the very upper/lower part of your teeth/the root. The arch bars have hooks on them. Wire is wrapped from the bottom hooks to the top hooks to keep your mouth wired shut. If your jaw isn't broken on purpose, you don't get a straw, everything you "eat" has to be sucked through your teeth.
We picked up a nice new blender on the way home and I got to work creating liquid masterpieces. Smoothies and Ensure get old really quickly. I found that stuff that was already somewhat blended worked best. My favorite savory recipes were blended pizza, lasagna and chili. Mac and cheese, not so much, it just tasted like liquid cheese. I will admit... I did try to blend a cheeseburger... desperate times call for desperate measures. It did not work out so well, but here is a crazed picture of me attempting:
Probably the most fun I "blended" was teddy grahams and milk. Teddy grahams are my favorite snack and my brother was mean enough to bring them on a road trip. We had fun watching the little bears spinning around the blender and made sound effects. While the diet did suck, the worst part about having my jaw wired shut, was that I was not allowed to raise my heart rate. I also had to be supervised if I was in over a foot of water. Here I had been training for this half ironman triathlon, and now someone had to watch me if I dangled my feet off the dock. It was weird. My dad caught me a few times trying to do lunges in the backyard and warned me not to raise my heart rate. When the wires finally came off I couldn't decide if I wanted to eat first or run first.
Meantime, my cousin Mikey helped me find a replacement for my bike and we got to work getting it put together.
I had the wires removed a month after the accident, but the arch bars stayed on for another couple months. Once the wires were removed, I could only open my mouth a little less than a cm, but it was enough to eat some scrambled eggs, which were amazing. Gradually I was able to open it more and more and had to do exercises in front of a mirror because it would open crooked. It still opens a little crooked, but you can only see it if you're really looking for it. The tooth on the fracture line died while my jaw was wired shut so it looks a little different from my other teeth, but no one has ever noticed without my pointing it out. Getting the arch bars off was the worst part. My doctor was awesome, and called me his miracle patient every time I came in. When he asked me if I felt like I could do it with just a topical numbing agent I said yeah sure I'm tough. Plus I didn't want to go under again. He started to bend one wire and we realized that was definitely not going to work. It was too late to put me under, so I had to have about 20 shots of novacaine in the roof of my mouth and lower mouth. Once my jaw had been unwired, I remember the guy that hit me sent me a message that said something along the lines of, oh great you're fine now, you can go eat cheeseburgers. But I wasn't fine just yet, I had still missed my big race, my jaw would take almost a year for the joint to regrow, and I still had the head injury. After he sent me that message, I blocked him from all further contact. While I did forgive him, I didn't feel like it would be good for my recovery.
A few months after the accident, I was still having problems from my head injury. I would go to the grocery store not realizing my shirt was on inside out and backwards. I would constantly forget the word for something. I would walk into rooms forgetting what I went in there for. I would "space out" during conversations. I was having trouble concentrating. People would tell me that things like this happened to them as well, but I think what they didn't understand, was that this was alllll the time. The worst incident was when I spaced out and went through a red light. After that, my neurologist thought I might be having petit mal seizures so set me up for an EEG. And this is what I looked like for 24 hours:
The EEG came up negative, which was good and bad. Good I wasn't having seizures, bad that the only thing that would help me was time. With head injuries, they often just get better with time. Since I had had several minor concussions (ice hockey) before this, it might take a little extra time. Even now I still have some difficulties with memory and concentration, but it has gotten better year after year.
There was one point when I became angry. For a long time after the accident, I thought he hadn't seen me, that it was an honest accident. He had told the insurance company the sun was in his eyes. Much later, I learned that shortly after my dad arrived at the accident, he ran up to my dad and said "I thought I had enough time." So he did see me, and thought he could make the turn. He then lied to the insurance company. Thankfully they must have seen through the story (the sun wasn't even close to setting at 5pm on a July evening) and assumed full responsibility. I still forgive him, but I do hope he learned something from the incident. My situation, while not very much fun from me, was due to a simple mistake. We all make mistakes and that is why I can let this one go. The harder issue for me to come to terms with, are the displays of hatred towards, and deliberate scaring of cyclists by motorists. I am sad that if any of those folks read this article, the safety concerns may fall on deaf ears.
The crazy thing about this whole story, is that I was very very lucky. This easily could have gone so much worse. These are all the reasons why I was so lucky:
1. I could have had severe brain damage or broken my spine
2. The driver had good insurance
3. I had an excellent surgeon that treated me like he would treat his own daughter
4. I had very supportive family and friends that kept my spirits up
5. My only lasting remnants from the accident are a little TMJ and being a bit forgetful.
I have many friends who have also been in accidents with motorists and came out much worse. Some have lasting disabilities, and are still thankful and feel lucky to still be here. I titled this blog 3 seconds, because that was the approximate amount of time it would have taken for me to go by where the car was turning and be in the clear. How often have we been held up while driving somewhere, or doing something, for 3 seconds. A mail truck, slow moving farm equipment, stop lights, traffic, pedestrian crossings, all typically stop us for more than 3 seconds. 3 seconds will not ruin your day and it won't make you late for an important meeting. Our lives are worth more than 3 seconds, please consider this next time you come across a cyclist or group of cyclists. Be patient. We are often moving quicker than you may think, and often have to move away from the shoulder to avoid debris and potholes. Slow down, assess the situation (many cyclists will often use signals or wave you around when its safe), and pass/turn with care. Cyclists, do your part as well. Use hand signals, watch for vehicles and stop at stop signs. Maybe just as importantly, wave thank you to the motorists that are patient. Maybe if other motorists see us thanking them, then they will realize that we're not so bad after all.
